One Dark Window by Rachel Gillig: Okay We Need To Talk

 

    Okay so. Okay. I need you to sit down. Actually no, don't sit down, stand up, because I need you to be in a state of readiness to immediately go buy a book the second I'm done yelling at you, and standing up is more conducive to that kind of urgency.

    I finished One Dark Window at 11:47 AM on a rainy Tuesday morning, full couch burrito mode, blanket up to my chin, coffee gone cold two hours prior because who has time to drink coffee when there's a monster in someone's head, and I immediately, and I mean immediately, before my brain had even finished processing what my eyeballs had just witnessed, opened my Kindle app and bought the sequel. That's it. That's the review. I could stop typing right now. You could stop reading right now. Go buy the book, read it, and come back and comment your feelings at me because I need someone to scream with.

    Still here? Okay fine. Fine! I'll give you words. But I want it on record that somewhere between the mist and the monster and one devastatingly restrained gray-eyed highwayman, I turned into an actual feral beast, and not in a cute way, in a "ready to devour the entire back catalog of Rachel Gillig in one sitting" way. I have concerns about myself. We'll get to that.

The Fast Facts, Because I Know You're Skimming and I Forgive You

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 ⭐ (and that half-star deduction physically pains me)

Genre: Gothic fantasy / romantasy with a body count and a conscience

Vibe: Kingdom fairy tale that got possessed by something ancient in the woods and never quite recovered.

Spice Level: 1/2 a 🌶️ This is a slow burn in the truest sense. It gives more lingering eye contact and devastating restraint than anything explicit, so if you're here for the spice, temper your expectations. If you're here to be emotionally wrecked by tension, buckle up.

Why this is for you: if you like fairy tales with teeth, love interests who are brooding but not insufferable about it, and a magic system that actually feels new instead of recycled from the last five fantasy books you read, yes, this, all of this, immediately. Also, and I say this with zero shame, if you have ever wanted to befriend the monster living in your own head instead of just white-knuckling your way through ignoring it, this book gets you. That might just be a me thing though. We'll circle back.

What Reading This Actually Felt Like

    Okay so imagine someone hands you a lantern. And they say, don't worry, this will definitely help you stay safe in the cursed fog. And then the lantern curses you. And so does the fog. That's the vibe. That's the whole book in one sentence and I'm very proud of myself for it.

    It's cozy and it's creepy in the exact ratio required to turn a normal, functioning person into the feral beast I mentioned earlier. I want to talk about the pacing because the pacing did something to my brain chemistry; there's this hypnotic quality where you go "okay, one more chapter" and then you surface for air and it's 2 AM, you've missed a call from your mother, and you have no memory of the last six hours of your life. I read this entire book in a single night. Not because I had nothing else going on the next day (I had several things going on, all of which remain, to this day, undone, RIP), but because Gillig writes with this quiet creeping momentum where putting the book down feels like betraying yourself on a personal, spiritual level.

    Also, and I will die on this hill, you need to read this during spooky season. There's a nip in the air, the clouds are doing that low grumbly thunder thing, Bath and Body Works has all the spicy fall candles out, and you're curled up somewhere with this book that is basically consuming you alive. That is the most wonderful time of the year and I don't care what anyone says about Christmas.

What It's Actually About (No Spoilers, Pinky Promise, I Mean It)

    So Elspeth Spindle lives in Blunder: a kingdom that's slowly getting swallowed whole by this sinister mist that turns people into ash-eyed monsters called Deviants (which was my high school experience, funny enough). It's the kind of premise that should feel gimmicky on paper and instead reads like a slow-building panic attack in the best possible way. Don't tell my therapist I said that.

    Here's the thing about Elspeth though: she's got a secret, and the secret is a literal monster living inside her mind, whispering to her, occasionally taking the wheel entirely, and generally being the most emotionally supportive parasite you've ever encountered in fiction (#goals, honestly). She calls him the Nightmare. He is unhinged. I would die for him. I need you to understand I am not being cute or hyperbolic, I would genuinely die for a fictional monster and I've made peace with that about myself.

    And then there's Ravyn Yew, the King's nephew, Captain of the Destriers, on a mission to track down the last of these mysterious tarot-like Providence Cards before it's gone forever, who ends up roping Elspeth into helping him, because of course her creepy little secret makes her uniquely useful. And what unfolds from there is part mystery, part slow-burn romance, part fairy-tale horror, all stitched together by a magic system that genuinely, actually excited me, which almost never happens anymore because I've read a lot of books and gotten cynical about it.

    That's all you're getting. I'm not telling you more because the fun of this book is the way information gets handed out like the world's stingiest fortune cookie: one crumb at a time, and you WILL be grateful for that crumb, and thank Gillig for it. And if you're the specific breed of sociopath who needs to spoil a book before reading it, fine, go find my YouTube review, it's over there, filled with my unhinged spoilery thoughts, I won't judge you but I will think about it.

The Parts That Wrecked Me (a.k.a. Where I Lost My Whole Entire Heart)

    Can we talk about the magic system first because I need to. I want to physically shake Rachel Gillig's hand for building a magic system that doesn't feel assembled from spare Sanderson parts left over from some other, blander book. The Providence Cards are such a clever idea, and the way the whole social and political structure of this world has warped itself around them feels lived-in, feels real, feels like it's been simmering for centuries instead of invented for the plot. Nothing about it is a textbook infodump. It just unfurls, a little at a time, and I kept getting delighted over and over.

    And then there's the Nightmare. Okay. Okay okay okay. I came into this book fully expecting some broody human love interest to steal my heart, that's just how these books go, that's the deal we all sign up for. I did NOT expect my heart to get stolen by an ancient, possibly malevolent entity who lives rent-free inside the protagonist's own skull. And yet. Here we are. He's unsettling, he's darkly funny, he's weirdly protective in a way that sneaks up on you, and he might be one of the most original "monster" characters I've read in years; not a metaphor wearing a character costume, an actual character, fully realized, with his own agenda and his own charisma, and I trust him more than I trust most of the actual humans in this book, which says something about the humans honestly.

    And I have to be honest with you here because that's the whole point of this blog, I have OCD, I deal with intrusive thoughts, and reading a character like the Nightmare was wildly uncomfortable and oddly, unexpectedly comforting at the exact same time. It borders on a metaphor for that experience, living with something in your head that has its own opinions, its own view of the world, something you're constantly negotiating with just to hold onto your own agency, all while trying to look completely normal to everyone around you so nobody asks questions. And then there are the moments where you just give in, where you slip into that blacked-out state the way Elspeth does. I don't think that was necessarily Gillig's intention when she wrote it, but I felt so seen in this book that it kind of rearranged something in my chest, and it's not something I get from a lot of fantasy novels. However, if you don't have a handle on your OCD, please use this as a trigger warning, there were points where I felt like I was slipping along with Elsbeth. 

    Also. Ravyn Yew. My god. MMC and certified menace to my personal composure. He is now on my very short, very sacred list of book boyfriends I will defend with my entire chest, no notes, no negotiations. He's restrained without being cold. Protective without ever tipping into controlling. And the tension between him and Elspeth is the kind that makes you physically set the book down for a second just to catch your breath and stare longingly at your ceiling. Their whole dynamic builds so slowly, so deliberately, that by the time anything actually happens you feel like you EARNED it, you were there for the whole journey, you paid the toll. That's what slow burn is supposed to feel like, not withheld for the sake of withholding, but built, brick by brick, glance by glance. Swoon. I said swoon. I meant it.

    And the atmosphere, I cannot let this go without saying it, this book is drenched, soaked, marinating in mood. The mist, the crumbling mansion, the mystery curling around every corner, it's gothic in a way that feels authentic instead of just aesthetic dressing. I read most of it during an actual real-life rainstorm, at night, and I am fully, one hundred percent convinced the universe was telling me I was doing this exactly right.

The Part Where I Pretend To Have Standards

    Okay so, in the interest of honesty, because my credibility is genuinely the only currency I have left at this point (seriously, don't look at my bank account, it's depressing, we don't talk about it), the pacing does dip a little right before the third act. There's a stretch where the political intrigue takes over and the breakneck momentum I'd been riding for the first hundred pages eases up. It's not bad, exactly, it's just the difference between "I cannot physically put this down" and "okay I will put this down to go pee and make more tea, but I will absolutely be back in twenty minutes, don't wait up." Given how relentlessly the rest of the book moves, that little lull stands out more than it might somewhere else.

    I also wanted more time with some of the secondary relationships outside the central romance, a few characters felt like they were being quietly set up for bigger things in future books rather than getting their full moment here, which, fine, that's a reasonable thing to do in book one of a duology, I get it, but my greedy little heart wanted more anyway and I will not apologize for that.

    Neither of those things knocked more than half a star off, honestly, but they're the reason it's not a perfect five, and I have to be honest with you or what are we even doing here.

Moments That Live In My Head Rent Free

    There's a scene involving a looking glass that made me physically clutch this book to my chest like it was going to be taken from me. There's a moment where the Nightmare does something so quietly devastating on Elspeth's behalf that I had to put the book down and stare into the dark abyss of my bedroom for a solid minute just to recalibrate my entire understanding of what a "monster" is allowed to be in fiction. And then the ending: I'm not saying anything, I promised, but the ending left me feeling like I'd been shoved off a cliff with no parachute and a mild sense of betrayal, which is exactly why I bought the sequel about four seconds after finishing, no exaggeration.

So, Here's the Verdict, Because I Was So Subtle Up Until Now

    One Dark Window is the kind of book that slowly, quietly captures you. It doesn't announce itself with pyrotechnics and a wind machine, go Queen B, we love a wind machine, but this book isn't that. It seeps in, like mist under a locked door, and by the time you notice you're hooked you're already three chapters past your bedtime and fully, completely feral about the emotional wellbeing of a fictional monster who lives in a fictional girl's skull. The world is original. The romance is a masterclass in tension I will be chasing for years. The magic system alone is worth whatever you're about to pay for it.

    Should you read One Dark Window? YES. Obviously. Immediately. What are you still doing here, reading this, when you could be over there, reading that. I’m not even close to the writer that Rachel Gillig is. Go, go, go!

    This is your perfect rainy-day read. Your perfect "I have zero plans and want to disappear for eight hours" read. Your perfect "I am going to force my friends into a buddy read purely so I have someone to scream with" read. Do with that information whatever you want, I've said my piece, I've given you everything I've got. 

Okay Now Actually Go Get It (Affiliate Links Below, Because I Am Broke)

If you're even half as convinced as I am that this book deserves real estate on your shelf, or your nightstand, or wherever it is you keep the books you're currently obsessed with, you can grab your copy of OneDark Window. If you're more of an audiobook person, I've heard genuinely great things about the narration, so check that out here, perfect for anyone who wants to be emotionally destroyed hands-free while doing the dishes, no judgment, we've all been there.

And when, not if, when, you tear through this the way I did and need more immediately, you can grab the sequel, Two Twisted Crowns, because trust me, you will need it the very second you close the back cover, I am not exaggerating for effect, I wish I was.

And if you're sitting there waiting for your copy to arrive and you need something to tide you over, go find The BoneSeason by Samantha Shannon for more of that "girl with a dangerous secret power navigating a corrupt system" energy, or A Dowry of Blood by S.T. Gibson if it's the lush gothic slow-burn atmosphere you're chasing. Both of them are excellent company for the mood this book is going to leave you in.   

 Happy reading, book nerds. May your TBR piles be tall and your monsters be emotionally supportive.

— Poindexter Anonymous 🖤

Did I miss anything? Did you jump right into the second book too? Drop you thoughts in the comments, but be respectful of others, if you're going to talk about specifics, disclaim your spoilers. And if you want more posts like this landing in your inbox (plus the occasional unhinged recommendation), subscribe to the newsletter below.